Casual Encounters

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When you are looking for a casual sexual relationship instead of romance you really have two options, one night stands with new people or a friends with benefits relationship where you have an ongoing sexual liaison with the same person. So which one is the best path to take? It depends on how important safety, excitement, and casualness are for you.

Unfortunately safety is an issue in this day and age. If you are meeting people in bars or over the internet for one off casual sexual encounters there is a real danger of being physically assaulted or robbed. This is less likely if you are involved with someone you know and have a relationship with. And if something does happen with an acquaintance at least you know enough information like their name, phone number and address that they can be arrested for the crime. Sexually transmitted diseases are another concern. While safer sex practices like condoms and dental dams will protect against many diseases there are some, including crabs and genital herpes, that can be transmitted even with their use. If you have a friends with benefits arrangement it is easier to go in for regular testing together to make sure that everything is okay. Keep in mind that even if you are having sex with someone you know you still should be using protection since they may be involved with other people. You can’t tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them. If you are a guy having sexual relationships with a woman always use a condom, even if they claim to be on the pill. The pill isn’t 100% and there are lots of men out there paying child support because of an Oops child. Keep it covered. It’s better safe then pregnant.

While friends with benefit arrangements can be safer they can also lack the excitement of one night stands. There is something primal about meeting someone and getting physical without even knowing their name. With one night stands it is new experiences all the time. Of course there is always the possibility that those new experiences won’t be very good. It is the difference between trying new restaurants all the time and always going to the same place. One is more exciting but the other is more dependable. Another problem with friends with benefit arrangements is that there will likely be times when you want sex and the other person just isn’t in the mood. You never have that concern with one night stands. You just go looking when you want it and stay home when you don’t. On the other hand, a continuing friends with benefits relationship can be exciting because you get to know what turns them on and they know how to get you hot.

The final thing to consider is how casual you want the relationship to be. With one night stands there is not a risk of emotional involvement since you don’t have time to build that bond with the other person. But sometimes those bonds are good. Having someone who you can talk to and laugh with after sex can be nice. However, there is a real risk of friends with benefits turning into one sided romantic relationships. It isn’t unusual for one party in these affairs to start to fall in love with the other person. If you want to keep things casual and they want to move it into something more it can be awkward and painful. If you are in that type of situation it is best to end things completely instead of stringing them along with the hope that they, or you, will change. If you find that you have a habit of trying to turn sexual relationships into love then maybe you should stick to one night stands, or just accept that you get your kicks from monogamy and find a relationship based on more then sex.

What’s better, one night stands or friends with benefits? It is all up to you. In either case, if you know what you want going into it you will be able to get what you need out of it.

Digital Friends: Tips for Becoming Part of a Casual Game Community

By: R.L. Fielding

Whether you’re new to the online casual game world or are just new to a particular online game community, making digital friends isn’t always easy. Every online community has its own unwritten rules that govern the behavior of its members – be it during game play or in the forums.

As a new community member, you’ll want to do your best to fit in and make a good impression on your fellow players. But how do you know which actions are considered rude or will make you look like a “newbie”, and which will help you fit in? There’s no guidebook that can show you what to do, but here are three basic steps that will help you learn the ways of any casual game community:

1. Observe the Natives

Upon first joining a new casual game community, it can be tempting to jump right in and start interacting with other community members. But this is where many people get tripped up. Behaviors that are acceptable in one community may not be accepted in another. For example, in most places on the Web, typing in ALL CAPS is akin to yelling and will rub other people the wrong way; however, some online communities are much more lenient in this regard. If a casual game community is comprised of older individuals, you may find that many of its members will talk in ALL CAPS just so that it’s easier for them to read the words on the screen. In these communities, the other players understand this fact and won’t jump all over you for it.

The best way for a new player to interact with a group of established community members is to spend some time observing first. Get a feel for the personality or vibe of the group and the relationships between players, and then introduce yourself. For instance, you may want to reach out with a “Hi all” or “How’s everyone doing today?” This will normally help to break the ice and get a few responses. Most online casual game communities are filled with people who are eager to connect with new players. As the saying goes, the more the merrier! Don’t be afraid to ask questions if you’re not sure how to handle yourself in a particular situation. In most cases, the other players will be happy to lend a hand.

2. Learn the Language

The language barrier can also be confusing for new community members. This doesn’t refer to whether a group of people speaks English, Spanish, or some other language; it means that many online communities have developed their own unique vernacular. You may come across abbreviations or expressions that you’ve never encountered before. Again, it helps to observe what other players are saying first and to ask questions if you’re unable to figure out what a particular term means.

To give you an example of this phenomenon, Slingo, Inc., a leader in the casual games industry, reports that the members of the Slingo.com community have developed special terms that they use in the game rooms, such as “DD” (Darn Devil) and “SS” (So Sorry). When a player has had his or her coins taken away by a game character known as the Slingo Devil, these abbreviations are used as expressions of sympathy for the person who lost the coins. It can actually become a point of contention in game rooms if someone does not respond with a “thank you” of some sort when another user communicates to them using one of these terms. Players may complain or call someone rude if he or she does not respond in kind. To help new players get up to speed with this type of slang, Slingo.com created a forum thread called “Slingo Lingo” which provides definitions for commonly used terms.

3. Contribute to the Community

Once you’ve become familiar with the customs and lingo of your new casual game community and have begun reaching out to other members, you should take steps to become an active member of the community and develop deeper friendships.

Talking in the games rooms or the forums is a great way to find new friends. Feel free to join conversations with other players or start up your own discussions. Since you already have a shared interest in playing casual games, you’re very likely to find like-minded people with whom you can interact. However, it’s important to note that, if you haven’t filled out your profile completely, other players may be reluctant to friend you. At the very least, be sure to describe your interests in your profile so people have some idea of what your likes and dislikes are. Adding your picture to your profile will also help to make you more approachable; however, if you don’t want to use a real photo, a good alternative is to post pictures of a cartoon character you love, your favorite kind of car, or something else that expresses your personality. This can give other players insight into what kind of person you are, even before they communicate with you.

As with face-to-face social situations, it takes time to get to know a group of people and really fit in. By wading in a little bit at a time rather than jumping in head first, you’re more likely to avoid major missteps and receive a warm welcome from your fellow game players.

About Slingo Slingo.com is a leading online destination for people who enjoy playing games, winning prizes and having fun. In fact, 1 out of every 20 people in the U.S. has played Slingo online. The Slingo website offers free, original online games, downloadable games, and contests with cash prizes, as well as a social-networking community for game players. For more information, please visit http://www.slingo.com/.