Casual Encounters

Are there times you’d like to become involved with a guy, but you simply want a casual relationship? Have you been strongly attracted to a guy, despite knowing that you didn’t really want a committed relationship with him? Can you have the fun of a sexual encounter without any romance or emotions? Friends with benefits can work for a lot of women, however there are a few things you need to keep in mind before you try your hand at it.

Meeting the kind of guy who is just hot, sexy, cute and exciting can stir something rather animalistic in us. We want the steamy sex and the passionate embraces, but know that he’s not really the kind of guy we see ourselves with for a long term relationship. If this is strictly a matter of having fun, go for it.

However, if you’re like many women, the emotions that slowly sneak up on you during these sexual interludes can be difficult to control. Oxitocin can be a powerful chemical. This is naturally released by the brain during intimate contact and a woman can quickly become helpless to fight it.

It’s easy to believe that his gentle touch conveys affection. We feel the tender touch of his lips over ours and can’t imagine he’s not feeling something emotional just as we are. And of course there are the special words he whispers in our ear; words we want so desperately to believe and make a big deal out of when in fact they were only spoken in passion.

Before you know it, you’re dreaming of a life with him, imagining qualities he doesn’t even have and your head is filled with romance and love. Every encounter exacerbates the situation and one day you let slip that you’d like more; more love, more time, more attention. Chances are he’ll not be even close to the same page as you.

If you know yourself enough and recognize your inability to switch of your emotions, you’ll probably end up with a broken heart if you attempt a casual relationship, so steer clear.

In our days there are still a lot of people out there which are single because they haven’t got a relationship until now. One of the reasons why this happen is because men are still confusing about something; which is better to choose: one night stands or long term relationships? Both have advantages and disadvantages that’s why it is good to think better before to jump in a relationship or to start these ”one night stands”.

People who choose to have one- night- stands are not ready to have a relationship. They have fear of commitment and consider that living single can be pretty sweet; if you are unattached woman the best of all is that you can spend as much time as you want with your friends. That’s why they prefer a one night stand.

Let’s face it: a one night stand is someone you pick up in a bar, you don’t know her, take it to your place, and have a healthy sex and leaves in the next morning, nothing more. What do you hope to find in the arms of someone who doesn’t care about you? Instead, a long term relationship between a guy and a girl is based around strong mutual attraction on the physical, mental and possibly even spiritual levels; it involves the concept of love and desire to be with someone you care very highly about for a long time.

The guys who are looking just for hooking are afraid to enter in a relationship, afraid of intimacy, rejection or afraid of opening up to someone. So, the ones who never had a one night stand until now, will want to try it as a personal growth experience. Men love sex, especially when there are no strings attached, and sometimes the urge is irresistible. Sexual desire is far more than a simple physiological need. Experiencing a variety of people in a sexual context teaches you a variety of sexual techniques and ways of being.

One night stands can be fun, very sensual, and harmless and will definitely boost your ego: but you have to think about the consequences that may happen. One of the bad things that you can take sexually transmitted diseases, because you don’t know very well the girl, you don’t know with many guys was before you, so she might be infected. In a one night stand the partners become incredibly intimate at a very early stage so they become too vulnerable to each other before they know better.

For a long term relationship you must choose someone highly compatible in all areas, your partner should be your companion, friend and sex mate. For a one night stand you can choose a much greater variety of people, including women who are extremely sexually exciting, the decision can be made very quickly because anyway in the next day would matter anymore because she will leave for all.

Relationships require making a commitment and incurring obligations; you can’t chase after every opportunity if you want to built a relationship, you must have some patience. Even though, it can be very beautiful to have a relationship, because your partner cares of you and will be there for you when you have problems, will help you at need, you have always with whom to speak your problems. The one night stand girl will let you since the second day morning and will never care about you.

It is at your choice how you want to live your life, but remember that if you spend your energy looking for casual sex, there is a little time left over for developing a long term relationship; the rewards of investing time in a long time relationship are not immediate.

When children hit their teens, it’s like a magic emotional-mental button is pushed. All of the sudden, you instinctively grab for independence, desire to spread your wings and join the community of semi-adults. You may begin believing that Mom and Dad have imparted to you every thing you will need to understand to make your individual decisions in life. Though your mother and father have doubtless tried to give you their ideal guidance, to put together you for adult life, the missing ingredient is constantly practical knowledge, from time to time gained only by way of the school of tough knocks. However, from the point of view, teenager relationships are, far more or less, like adult relationships. Let’s take a take a look at some of the distinctions between young adults relationships and adult relationships.You will believe that, hey, you clean your room with no becoming told to complete so, shop for your individual clothes, have your individual group of buddies and dates. What more do you will need to know?Even though you may possess a couple of BFFs, you also know that teen relationships with other people of your gender often come and go. This week’s new good friend might be subsequent week’s enemy. These fleeting relationships do serve to obtain you experience in each existence and friendships.Other types of adolescent relationships from the boy-girl kind tend to be of the diverse nature. Perhaps it’s a mixture of hormones, a sense of romance and an (pretty much) unconscious longing to come with an adult relationship that pulls you entirely in for the planet of grown-ups, that last break while using the parental control that can make you feel that you’re a entirely functional free person.A word of warning – as well typically, each parties in dating teenager relationships, have an inclination to cling to a particular person, that one ‘true love’. Being a couple may well look to confer some kind of specific status amongst your peers. Nevertheless, once again, it is experience which is missing. Your assessment of your Prince or Princess may be a single viewed through the proverbial rose colored glasses, with you seeing what you desire to see, although explaining aside behaviors and personality quirks which you could not like, but are prepared to overlook.Here’s a important word of advice on such boy-girl teen relationships. Whenever you begin dating, you are going to understand far far more and steer clear of considerably needless heartbreak should you date a number of people, casually, with no-strings-attached. This relieves you of so a lot of pressures incumbent within the committed relationship. Each boys and girls in dating teen relationships are usually trying to find that ‘forever’ relationship, without satisfactory experience to determine a person who will be genuinely compatible for a life span. Too frequently, teens wind up marrying as quickly because they turn 18, or quickly right after. Statistically, people who marry so youthful are pretty much assuredly doomed with a failed marriage.Even though you will stay friends along with your same-gender peers for decades, teenager lovers practically never fare so properly. Play it wise. Let oneself alter and grow emotionally, as is natural. From the time you are inside your mid-twenties, dating several folks, you will have sufficient practical knowledge and maturity to become considering a everlasting really like relationship.Give your self a possibility to mature emotionally and get yourself a firm grip on who you are and wherever you’re going. Teen relationships are, ideally, an chance for entertaining, figuring out and growing to be your unique individual. This procedure offers you that encounter you’ll need to find that one genuine adore plus a content future!

You are the last one who knows when you are going to blow! But, blow you do because of all the repressed refuge you carry around. Instead of voicing your agitation in small doses easily digested,you explode like a huge volcanic thrust. What’s wrong with that? Not a dog-gone thing except that it makes you feel guilty, apologetic, and remorseful. These unnatural ego-driven actions are the sediment which cause damage to your demeanor and your level of honest intimacy. Why? Because you are an infinitely pure innocent elevated divine being who in no way participates in the disgraceful actions of ‘trying to explain, excuse or defend’ what you do.

Human beings are contrarily complex creatures. But, are absolutely lucid on one definite point: they will not be obligated to anyone. No matter how it may appear, the underlying truth remains, a human being is not equipped with the faculties to be indebted to another. Obligation is not ‘natural and convenient’ for mortals and does not fit into the character. Duty to oneself is the highest honor and when broken brings on unmentionable problems. Obligation is stifling, regressively confining, reservedly demanding, and most awkwardly humiliating. An equal and fair exchange is conducted inwardly at all times by the sacred reasons of the god (s) and will not be interfered with by compromising tainted mortal obligation.

Obligation is sort of like forced entertainment! You are expected to provide on going re-payment services of such for the other in some unspoken way. This untenable situation is not acceptable! The soul will simply not stand for it. Didn’t Master Jesus say, “Owe no man.?” No matter what size of the so-called gift, (binding offense) unless incredulously elevated to a place of total non-attachment to the gift or giver, you will inevitably project anger and resentment.

But, because your ruthless soul wears the incognito suit of a human being, you end up trying to be extra nice to make up for what you perceive as an causal injustice. Vomit. Vomit and more vomit. What on earth are you doing in such a ‘perpendicular’ mess? How long do you really think you can maintain the grateful veneer? Why not come clean; instead of presenting an idolized picture of the you that will be impossible to maintain? Just let the person know right from the beginning that you will not be placed in a situation that requires obligation of any sort. Call it intimacy issues or the fact that you don’t like the idea of being responsible to or for another. It is a conviction of yours that for any true affable relationship to work ,you need your space; although you will inadvertently try to smother, control, dominate, placate, sublimate or suffocate, (whatever works best for you) and otherwise end up resenting the fact that you are beholding.

. If you are gut level honest with yourself first, then the other, you will say although you expect undivided attention and loyalty, you may be the first to grow bored and restless in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. Tell your partner that you don’t have the slightest idea of what true love means. {Human beings are the process of learning through the ruthless actions of the soul.} Although you are more than ready and willing to learn, it will not be easy or smooth sailing for either of you. Furthermore, you realize you are selfish and self-centered and need to be pampered with words of encouragement, in sppite of other unreasonable demands. In other words, you are at any given moment at least 3 different people with entirely different needs and desires.

You will be good at convincing the other that you want and need a committed relationship and desire to married with children more than anything else in the world but you don’t mean a word of it. You like the idea; it sounds so romantic and secure but you’ll have to let that pot of soup brew for awhile before you can eat it. If you will just be a little more honest from the get go, the relationship might just have a chance of surviving.

Now, let us explore one of the other distinct personalities in your complex make-up. A total split exists in everything just recorded. Your need to be domesticated dominates your need to be free and rebellious. [Your need to be stable/secure fuels your need to be adventurous and exploring.] Personality #2 continuously feeds your mind with obnoxious thoughts that as you long as you are in a devoted committed loving relationship, full of the ‘forever’ promises that go with it, you could be ultimately happy/content forever more. But, at the same time, you are so fiercely independent that it would be just a little more than difficult to give over the idealized dreams of what you desire, to play housemate and mommy.you really have quite a bit of sexual energy you’d like to explore and don’t want it hampered.

As long as you can drive your shiny black new BMW and pick up the maid and nanny, vacation in the Bahamas at least twice a year, have unlimited spending allowance for beauty essentials, the idea could grow on you. But anything less, there might just be a slight problem in dictations. A sense of urgency never leaves you. You don’t have to know why just be aware of its presence. You’re impatient, filled with constant distractions and dissatisfactions. Some of the lessons in being human also involve getting over bigotry, superiority, intolerance, and prejudice.

Life is filled with hard choices. Infidelity is not one of them. Human beings are thoroughly self-absorbed, self-vested and self-interested. You are no different. Self-intoxication is the smooth wine you consume the most. As a genuine human being (god/goddess/itness) thoroughly participating in the life here on earth, you are the proverbial father/mother/son/daughter/lover /friend in exile. It is the sublimely sacred designated sphere/ realm of crucifixion including the unalterable ability for authentic closeness. No need to try; you already are.

The face of your chosen partner will reveal the hideous/exalted masquerade. Coming to terms with this esoteric knowledge may take a lifetime. It is here on another level of consciousness that we first encounter the reality of living multi-level multi-dimensional lives in many layers of existence that ultimately affect eveything we do. (Not as we comprehend the term living in human form) This is a notion far too advanced to be fully appreciated at this time but it introduces the concept of complexity and certainty that everything that has ever happened or will happen is taking place right now in the present. “…and it was all good…” (Paraphrased)

Let things be. Release the need to expect certain things at certain times with certain results from certain people. You dampen your experience. You will remove the tendency to project the idea that the other person can or does disappoint you. Never does nonsensical event happen. IF you get honest with your three faces and observe them in operation, you will roar out a tremedously exhilerating belly laugh. Integration is the key lesson to be remembered while inhabiting the earth plane. Your unexpressed, unlived, unfulfilled unexplored undelegated sacred sensual sexual artistic life will not arrive all neatly tied up in a pretty box dowsed in bows and ribbons. (Far from it.) Can you handle it? Will you handle it? Be fully present in all relationships, willing to accept what you get and give. No strings attached!

So, you’ve met this girl. She’s cute, she’s funny and you enjoy her company in more ways than just the obvious one. And this seems like a great big problem.
On the one hand, you want to keep seeing her. It’s so much fun, of course you’d rather not stop.
But on the other hand, you’re really not ready to settle down. Perhaps you never will be. But you know that regular dates lead to relationships, and relationships lead to rings on fingers and buns in ovens, and that’s a risk you don’t want to take.
But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if you could keep things relaxed, casual and nothing but fun for months, or even for years?
Follow my lead and you can!
Start by dodging the ‘am I your girlfriend?’ discussion indefinitely. If you sense a wistful moment coming on, quickly tell her how happy you are having nothing and nobody tying you down. Take every opportunity you can to remind her of what a relief it is to be living a free and easy lifestyle, and flatter her by telling her you feel lucky to be hanging out with a girl so undemanding.
Keep your meetings casual and enjoyable. Choose fun, funky restaurants over the secluded, seductive ones, and stick to light-hearted topics of conversation – sharing hopes and fears will only encourage you to rely upon each other, and that can lead to involvement.
Be slightly unavailable to her. Don’t get drawn into aimless text message chatter or meandering phone calls. Let her believe you’re too busy to talk much, and phone her only to arrange your next encounter or to confirm the following day’s date ‘ never because you’re feeling a little bit bored!
Avoid getting yourself into situations which could be seen as coupley. And I’m not just talking about romantic dinners and lengthy smooching sessions here – I’m talking meeting the friends and family. Tell her you don’t want to cramp her birthday style (a subtle reminder that you’re both still single), or that lovers meeting mothers could be seen as inappropriate.
You don’t want to meet her friends for one very simple reason: whether they like you or loathe you, your days of casual nookie will soon be numbered. Either they’ll convince her to move on and find someone steady, or they’ll start teasing her about surprise marriage proposals ‘ and, once that idea’s in her head, believe you me, it won’t be easy to shift.
Letting her meet your mates isn’t much better. Suppose they get along? She could start popping up unexpectedly on your lads’ nights out, or they could become disapproving of what they see as you treating her wrong.
Which you’re not. If you’re honest and upfront with her there’s no need to feel guilty about keeping things casual. For loads of girls, the free and easy lifestyle suits them better – and even for those who do aim to settle down, having fun while they wait for someone steady is preferable to sitting home alone.
So don’t delete her number from your phone – give her a call, set up a date, have yourselves some fun.